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Nerds in Love: How Anime Fans Get Married Without Having an Anime Wedding

April 8, 2001

Okay, time to take down the angst for a while, and focus on something happy. At least for me.

Christi and I are about to do something that many anime fans don't seem to think about these days, and that few are ever prepared for.

We're getting married.

Now before you send off that Robotech CD so we can walk down the aisle to "We Shall Wiiiiiiiin", let's get a few things straight here. We are college students. We largely depend on our families to put us through school and though we work (very hard) to keep bills paid and food on the table, some things are simply beyond our ability.

We are NOT going to have an anime wedding.

"C'mon, where's the fun in that?" I know, I can hear the protests of x number of raving male otaku who think it's a travesty not to see your bride in sailor fuku and be dressed as one of the Shinesmen.

However, keep in mind that, no matter how many friends you have, one of the major considerations in a wedding is involving the family. The last thing I want to do is alienate my predominantly non-fannish Filipino family and play a bunch of Japanese music that makes no sense to them.

In fact, that's kind of why I'm writing this editorial today. A fan must always keep in mind that no matter how special your hobby is, others may never understand what you see in it. In some ways it's just like finding someone special - others will always question, but you know what they mean to you. But unlike love, fandom is not unconditional, and it's even harder to convey and make acceptable to someone who is not a fan. Fandom is not something that your average 87-year-old World War 2 veteran grandfather is going to understand. Love is.

A fan must also remember that there are more important things to life than being a fan. Sure, it helps when the time comes to find a like-minded individual to share your life with. Yeah, it's really cool that Christi and I can always talk about Kimagure Orange Road and Marmalade Boy and KareKano.

It is, however, more important to relate on such basic things as deciding who washes the dishes, agreeing on how to pay the bills, and even how to plan when you're going to have a family. What use is being a fan when you're dealing with a personal crisis, or the loss of a loved one? Or even when you "can't use magic for a while", to use a Slayers euphemism. If you're such rabid fans that you can't even agree on how to play Phantasy Star Online, then perhaps you should reconsider a few things.

If you have an extremely understanding (or predominantly fannish) family, money to burn, and a knack for cosplay, you may still have that Revolutionary Girl Utena wedding of your dreams ... I've seen it done, and quite well at that.

But Christi and I aren't going to do that. We're planning a nice, tasteful ceremony that's mostly conventional, if nondenominational, with our closest family and friends, at a winery near Temecula. No, I won't be heartbroken if Christi doesn't cosplay as Fuu from Rayearth, and frankly, it's not the right place and time for that, because that's not really important.

What is important is that she'll be there. And that I'll be there. And that we exchange the vows and seal a promise that we really had already made to each other a long time ago. In ten years, we'll forget the cake, the flowers, the decorations, the music... what will count is that on one summer day, Christi and I chose to forever join our paths together. Not as fans. But as human beings.

Though maybe we just might sneak in the KareKano end theme during the recession just to be cute. ^_^

Until then...

- Carlos Ross


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