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[Hoshizora e Kakaru Hashi]
AKA: 星空へ架かる橋, A Bridge to the Starry Skies
Genre: Harem Comedy
Length: Television series, 12 episodes, 24 minutes minutes each
Distributor: Currently unlicensed in North America
Content Rating: 13+ (nudity, sex references, creepiness)
Related Series: Hoshizora e Kakaru Hashi OVA
Also Recommended: Sticking your head in a hole.
Notes: Originally an erotic visual novel developed and published by Feng, released on October 15, 2010 for Windows.
Rating: One Star
 

Hoshizora e Kakaru Hashi

Synopsis

A Guy and his little brother move into a village and it turns out there is a clichéd harem waiting for him. Zzz.


Review

Sometimes, as a reviewer, I wonder whether I am a martyr or just a complete idiot. It might sound vain but those, quite seriously, are the only two options I have to choose from considering I watched all twelve episodes of this show. It certainly wasn't for any sort of enjoyment. I'll be frank, I am sure you know for yourself that when you watch a really bad show you can't wait to just rip into it as some sort of revenge for all the time, hope and vitality it has sucked out of you over its runtime. I have moments like that too. In between weighing the merits and faults of mediocrity, reviewers renew themselves in pouring lavish praise on the brilliant and hot scorn on the plain awful. This show does not give me that renewal, however. It is not because it is mediocre - no, this show dreams of being mediocre - but because even thinking about this show causes my brain cells to commit seppuku on the spot. My very being wants to forget this show exists, let alone write a review about it. I'm here though. I have made it through and I feel compelled to try to save you all from the same experience. So let it be said, do not watch Hoshizora e Kakaru Hashi. Here is why.

If there is a more boring show out there than Hoshizora e Kakaru Hashi then please, please don't ever show it to me. On top of having no characters worth talking about (though I will soon), the plot really is as generic as the synopsis would lead you to believe. The main character moving to a strange new location to stay with some relative (without or, in this case, with a sibling) is as painfully standard an opening as a game of Dungeons & Dragons starting in a tavern! It's downhill from there too; cue a motley wander around the new locale and a staggered introduction to all the cast (dominantly female, of course) and the set-up for the story to come. Except it doesn't! Nothing happens in this show! There is a school festival event, a bathhouse bit and there was a beach episode (I think, I honestly can't and don't care to remember) but otherwise I can't really tell you if anything noteworthy or interesting happens across the course of the whole series. There is an episode that the lead ends up in a loincloth, competing at tug of war against stoic girl's father over a misunderstanding (and they somehow made that boring) but otherwise they don't manage to threaten us with anything potentially interesting at all. The writers seem to have no interest in making the show the least bit romantic, tender moments are thin on the ground and character interactions are stale, and at the same time have no idea how to make a show that's funny. We get some plot progression at the very end (not character development, heaven forbid!) but this show shows no desire to do anything. Characters just talk in various settings and that wouldn't be so bad if the characters weren't so bad. They are, though. They really, really are terrible.

In the case of characters, I would like to invoke the Animé Cliché Checklist. Bland everyman lead, annoying pervert best friend, shota little brother, ditzy girl, tsundere girl, shy girl, stoic girl (who loves cute things, of course), reliable big sister-type, tsundere tomboy (since one tsundere was 'obviously' not enough) and the conniving loli. There, that is everything you will need to know about the characters of this show (oh and the ditz likes eating). Seriously, there is nothing more to them: relationships have no depth, characters are little more than their archetypes (and in the case of perverted best friend, worse than his archetype - lusting after your friend's little brother is wrong) and nothing ever happens to change it. You know, I don't even need characters to be that deep, just interesting and we don't get that either. No thought has gone into them and so there is nothing to get out of them.

Do the visuals save it? Well, no. Yosuga no Sora (which only defeats this show in terms of pure crapness by also being hideously objectionable as well as terminally dull) had far nicer visuals for the backgrounds at least and better music all the while being mediocre in these regards. No, this show looks cheap, sounds cheap, is cheap but ultimately is a costly experience. Half an hour is too much to spend on this crap.

This show offers nothing that can be called entertainment. The US military should give up on Barney the Dinosaur; Hoshizora e Kakaru Hashi has given them a new instrument of torture.Aiden Foote

Recommended Audience: There's a little bit nudity and some questionable scenes involving the little brother. Ultimately, none of it is as offensive as the show itself; it is an affront to creativity in nearly all aspects.



Version(s) Viewed: Digital source.
Review Status: Full (12/12)
Hoshizora e Kakaru Hashi © 2011 feng ・Hoshizora e Kakaru Hashi Production Committee
 
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