THEM Anime Reviews  
Home Reviews Extras Forums  
 
AKA: ゴルゴ13 (Golgo 13)
Genre: Spy action
Length: Movie, 93 minutes
Distributor: Currently licensed by Discotek Media
Content Rating: R (sex, violence, nudity, rape)
Related Series: Golgo 13: Queen Bee
Also Recommended:
Notes: Based on the manga by Saito Takao.

This review is based on the original Streamline Pictures English dub release.
Rating:
 

Golgo 13: The Professional

Synopsis

Duke Togo is a man without morals, inhibitions, regrets, or even a real identity. Duke, known by his clients as Golgo 13, is a professional assassin who will only take your job if you've got a heck of a lot of cash -- or a cause he thinks is worth the trouble.

It was a typical day for Duke: assassinate some Mafia leader, have sex with some woman, meet someone with a potential case for him, have sex with some woman, have his sources research his target, have sex with some woman...

However, Duke suddenly finds himself even more hunted than usual as the father of a recent target he had been paid to "eliminate" swears revenge, and puts his corporation's entire assets to use in trying to off the man who offed his son. Duke has to outwit countless thugs, kill numerous would-be assassins, out-bounty bounty hunters, and sleep with countless women to finally keep his hide safe.

Review

Hi! My name is Golgo 13, and I sleep with anything breathing that's wearing a skirt!

Well, it's not quite THAT bad, but it's pretty darn close. There are a few glaring things about The Professional that really irritate me, and this is one of them. Sex, sex, sex...isn't there anything else Duke does in his spare time? You've got to wonder how no one's figured out who he is, with him sleeping with half the world's population.

Animation is pretty decent, and the action scenes are well animated, which brings me to the next thing about The Professional that really irritates me. While I understand that The Professional is an anime, and thus not really subject to the laws of physics or plausibility, there is a certain limit to how far I can suspend my disbelief, especially since The Professional is supposed to be a "realistic" anime. Dodging bullets is one thing, but dodging THOUSANDS upon THOUSANDS of bullets? Here's an example:

After a tremendous car chase scene, Duke's car is blown up by a missile (yes, he was in it at the time). About thirty or forty hitmen circle around the flaming wreck to get a better look at Togo's body. Of course, they never considered the possibility that Togo's body might still be alive and working (neither had I, though). Duke gets out of the flaming wreck. The hit men all aim their fully automatic weapons and fire at will. Duke then proceeds to dodge EVERY SINGLE STUPID BULLET and KILL EVERY SINGLE MOBSTER using only a PISTOL!

Okay, here's another if that wasn't enough for you. Duke's in a glass elevator fighting some psycho who's apparently quite good. Helicopters come in (via really bad computer graphics) and proceed to pepper the elevator with machine gun fire and missiles before they fly away (guess they know how deadly a simple pistol can be). When the smoke clears, guess who's still standing? You got it. The elevator stops, and Golgo gets off at his floor, casually stepping over the body of his assailant.

And on and on and on. I always used to think the Golgo 13 NES games were unrealistic, but after seeing the anime, I have to admit that he really DOES demolish countless forces with minimal arms. After awhile, tension died completely because I already knew who was gonna win every time. And I was right.

Plotwise, it's not too bad. There's a quasi-surprise ending at the end (well, of course it's at the end!), but the anime is mostly just a string of preposterous action scenes followed by the gratuitous sex scene. Yeah.

Overall, you might like it. But probably not. James Bond fans may have a better time digesting the unbelievability.

Raphael See

Recommended Audience: Another anime definitely not for kids. Sex and violence galore, almost as much as in Ninja Scroll. The only difference, of course, is that Ninja Scroll was actually very good. There's a rape scene that, while not as explicit as Ninja Scroll, can be quite offensive.



Version(s) Viewed: VHS, English dub
Review Status: Full (1/1)
Golgo 13: The Professional © 1983 Saito Productions / TMS • Filmlink.