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[You know, this DVD cover really tells you all you need to know.]
AKA: 淫獣学園, Injuu Gakuen La Blue Girl
Genre: Hentai
Length: OAV, 6 episodes, 30 minutes each
Distributor: VHS and R1 DVD from Anime 18 out of print.
Content Rating: NC-17 (explicit sex, sexualized violence, foul language, depravity, insane stupidity)
Related Series: Lady Blue
Also Recommended: This is naughty tentacle porn. Do you think we're going to recommend anything similar?
Notes: Review not likely to be updated beyond this point. Amazingly enough, there is also a live-action version of this series also available on the market.
Rating: One Star

La Blue Girl

Synopsis

Mido Miko is a high school girl (don't let the box copy fool you, she's not in "college") whose family secret is that she is a ninja trained in the secret art of sex-based magic. She uses it to defeat demons and other unsavory characters, while getting off in the process.


Review

Sometimes, trying to view everything in the anime universe for the sake of editorial completeness and general knowledge is a really bad idea. There are but a handful of series that I genuinely regret ever laying eyes on, and the two episodes I screened of La Blue Girl fall strictly under this category. As it is, there is no freaking way anyone is going to get me to complete this series.

Let me put it to you now. Rape is one of the things I detest most in the world. The very idea of rape as humor, much less entertainment, simply horrifies me. Of course, rationally, we're supposed to look for other, more analytical reasons (other than instinctual horror and revulsion) for a reviewer like myself to take a show like this to the garbage dump.

I'll list them for you, one by one.

Animation? The animation is terrible, even for hentai. As seminal (heh heh) a show as this is, La Blue Girl has distinctly lousy art. Frame rates that could be surpassed by a handheld Viewmaster. Lazily drawn genitalia that were never meant to see the light of day - literally. They were hidden under mosaics in Japan, and rightfully so. Bust sizes that never quite stay consistent. It's all there, and more!

Acting? What acting? All the VAs have to do is moan and groan and complain about their orifices being entered by things that may have been Lovecraftian in concept, but just plain stupid in execution. And they then get off on it. Yeah, ha ha, fun-nee and a-rou-sing. Then there's the girl who turns into the werewolf or whatever, and then ... Well, as you can see, the scriptwriters were vastly overpaid, just by virtue of being paid at all.

Characterization? Okay, some people claim that Mido Miko is a "strong female character" and a "role model". Sure. A high school girl who gets off on sexual abuse is someone to strive for? Maybe in the same universe that proclaims Sailor and the Seven Ballz to be a classic of collaborative animation, but certainly not in this one! You don't need to be religious or conservative to find that very idea appalling!

Music? If I can't remember it now, it means one of two things. Either it was so bland I didn't bother to pay attention, or it sucked so bad I struck it from my memory. Even hoping for the former isn't so great, now that I think of it, but I'm sure the creators weren't exactly banking on hip tunes or stirring BGM to sell their product.

This is schlock, and pervy schlock, to boot. (And I do mean to boot in every connotation I can think of for those words.)

La Blue Girl is a shining example of what happens when hentai series go from suck to blow. It's stupid, insulting, unfunny, and unsexy, and frankly, you'd have to consider animation quality, good taste, and common sense to be completely irrelevant just to begin to enjoy this series. Yeah, sure, I wasn't expecting the Great Japanese Anime Opus out of this. Who would? But I wasn't expecting it to be quite so unwatchable!

Of course, this review won't stop diehard hentai junkies from picking up the box set, but they wouldn't be reading this website anyway.

From the snippets and off-episodes of other series (anime OR manga) in this genre, I can safely say that tentacle porn, as a concept, or rather, Maeda Toshio himself, deserves a very, very brutal smackdown, preferably with something heavy with large spikes. That would be a far better thing to do with your hands than pick up this series, or anything like it.

Even pornography deserves better than La Blue Girl.

Unapologetically moronic spooge masquerading as sex comedy. Even if it weren't so offensive to begin with, I'd slap it on principle just for being so incredibly stupid.Carlos Ross

Recommended Audience: Basement boys with nothing better to do than ogle scenes of sex abuse. Yeah, this is some real classy stuff we have here.

Stig adds:
Appropriateness? That's a joke. Aside from the fact that rapes are played out for laughs, the sheer stupidity pretty much prevents anyone from enjoying this, no matter how low they are on the grey matter and sensibility. In fact, the only thing this series is good for are caption contests or general heckling, and even that is something that wears heavily on your endurance.

So yet again, we -- Stig and Eddie's "rating sucky anime" invention services -- give this US (Unbelievable Stupid) or TYBISP (Turns Your Brain Into Stupid Pudding.)



Version(s) Viewed: VHS, Japanese with subtitles
Review Status: Partial (2/6)
La Blue Girl © 1992 Maeda Toshio / Daiei Co Ltd
 
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