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[To Heart]
AKA: N/A
Genre: Romance
Length: Television series, 13 episodes, 23 minutes each
Distributor: Currently licensed by Right Stuf International.
Content Rating: 3+ (harmless, and utterly devoid of calories, like a can of Pepsi One...)
Related Series: N/A
Also Recommended: Boys Be..., Comic Party, His and Her Circumstances
Notes: Based on a series of dating simulation and hentai (!) games by leaf and Aquaplus.

While the running time stated per episode is "23", due to the wonders of time dilation, each of this show's episodes actually lasts about one geological epoch.
Rating: One Star

To Heart

Synopsis

Based on a popular dating simulation game, To Heart is about a bunch of high schoolers who, um, go to high school. That's it.


Review

Since the game version of To Heart was popular, and we've heard good things about both the game and the anime, we figured that the anime should be pretty decent, especially given that it looks cute, and the art is beautiful.

But after two episodes, we've found absolutely nothing to support the contention that this is valid entertainment. We felt as if our eyes were being sucked out of our sockets by the sheer boredom of it all. Christi was starting to look forward to her next root canal and was trying to slit her wrists with a spork. Eric was contemplating suicide - or at least dancing with fans amid the falling cherry blossoms for a living.

What went so terribly wrong to drive our fearless heroes to such drastic measures?

Well, for one, the characters of To Heart (this term is used rather liberally in this case) are invariably devoid of any *character* at all! Akari (the female lead, we guess) is a total doormat. She makes Belldandy and Kasumi look like Roppongi girls. And Hiroyuki-chan (well, we think that was his name ...) looked much like ... well, anyone watching this: bored stiff and falling asleep. He seemed to be in this anime to sympathize with the viewer, rather than the other way around. What a landmark in characterization - a guy who wants *out* of the animation series!

It only gets worse. Fifteen minutes of the first episode are devoted to watching a girl rip paper. The same piece, over and over again, in an endless loop. And she *still* didn't have enough paper to facilitate the plot after that time - the plot being completely composed of picking seating assignments for the high schoolers (whoop-de-frickin'-do).

Then there was another still shot of a telephone pole, and subsequently a window, as people talked. And talked. And talked. About nothing remotely interesting. I guess you could call this a slice-of-life anime, but it took all the everyday, droll, uninteresting slices of life and animated them. Badly.

As if the "Cutting Paper Scene" wasn't enough, the next episode spotlighted Akari brushing her teeth for ten minutes, and a supposed "date" where Akari and what's-his-name sat in a cafe and drank a bottomless cup of coffee (must've been decaf, because they were as hyper as slugs in heat). It's like the slow girl from Galaxy Fraulein Yuna finally got her *own* show. (That's not good.) Whenever Akari's "dream in life" is to merely *sit* next to her darling what's-his-face ... well, gee, doesn't that really motivate us to watch more ...

Not to say there isn't anything good about this series. The art is beautiful, and the music's actually pretty good. That far from makes up for simply boring writing and plot. It's a pity, too, because we had been waiting for this series with bated breath. So much for that idea. The first two episodes weren't worth a Tic-Tac!

We're *hoping* it gets better, and we hear that once the cute android Multi is introduced half way through the series, things supposedly pick up, especially considering all the fanart made of her. But so far, all this anime has done for us is waste precious moments of our lifes we will never get back. Watching linoleum curl is more exciting than this. But at least Christi's insomnia was cured. Now if we can only get her to wake up ... it's been two weeks now O_O

(It took a rewatching of Ozanari Dungeon, and the entirety of Suddenly Princess to resurrect Christi after all. Beware.)

What do Japanese fanboys *see* in this boring, dreary crap?Carlos Ross, Christi, and Eric Gaede

Recommended Audience: Hmm. People who sat through Tale of Genji and What's Michael couldn't stay awake through this show. Not to say those titles are watchable ... but that should say something about this series. Apart from that ... no nudity, no fan service, no foul language, no violence ... no human emotion ... Give me my KareKano back!!!!



Version(s) Viewed: Prerelease fansub
Review Status: Partial (2/13)
To Heart © 1999 leaf / KSS / Aquaplus
 
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